"Love isn't even real. It's just something your nanny says sometimes to your dad."
—Schneider, Bobos and Mamitas
Schneider is the Alvarezes' wealthy landlord and good friend. While he is immature at times and shown as something of a playboy, he also acts as a father figure to Alex and Elena. In No Mass, it is implied that his parents weren't very attentive when he was a child. Schneider is a recovering addict of alcohol, drugs, and gambling. In This Is It, Schneider mentions that he does outreach at the rec center talking to at-risk youth. He overstayed his student visa and was considered to have illegally immigrated to the United States from Canada.